White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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