Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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