i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
