Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
