I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me