He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
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You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.