Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.