Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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