idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
