That's when you crack a 10am beer
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
