The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize