dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
