You're a womanizer and a bitch.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize