My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
