I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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