well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
