I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
