Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
