so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
