so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
