i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
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