I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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