Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
