What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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