Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
