Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
