No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
