Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
