That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
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Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
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I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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