I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
