Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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