Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
