Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
