finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
