Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
