Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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