I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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