Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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