You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Say something about gay babies.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
