dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
