i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
