I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
