The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
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Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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