tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
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no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
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Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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