Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
