Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
