Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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