Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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