you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize