i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
