Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
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I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
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My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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