We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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