its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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