Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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