Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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