I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
