well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
