i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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