you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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