I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Yo dont text me then not text me
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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