I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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