Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
40s are totally the cure
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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