I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
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