when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
