I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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