Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
