I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
