I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
