If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
