Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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