Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
