You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I made him laugh his dick is mine
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize