i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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