Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
