Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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