Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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