I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
