in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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